Who can you count on? I mean really...who can you REALLY...TRULY...count on? If you say your spouse...good for you...your boyfriend/girlfriend...good for you...your family...then that's just great. However, in my life...I can only speak for myself...I count on nobody but myself. I've tried...trust me I've tried. But when it comes down to it, I got me, myself and I...nobody else. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I got where I am all by myself. I am well aware of the help I have received, the prayers that were sent, the monetary support I have received and any and everything somebody else was willing to do for me...when they were ready, when they felt like it, or when they had it. I have been truly blessed and I send a BIG shout out to my supporters. Can I count on the same blessing to repeat themselves? Of course not. They were blessings...not guarantees. The reason I say I have me, myself and I is because I have yet to find my man...my partner...my true backbone...that's there no matter what...that means what he says...that acts before being asked...or recognizes a need and responds. I've been going through it recently...I mean going THROUGH it. You've read my posts...you've heard my cries...you got the gist of what's going on. I made mistakes in my past that have came back to haunt me today. My support has run dry. Not because they don't want to support me...they are basically tired of me f*ing up and have run out of options in regards to how to help me. I had run out too. I didn't know who to turn to...what to do...or where to go. Thankfully I have a wonderful friend that laid out my reality...thanks girl! Although, even though she laid it out, it really put me into a depression. I really didn't know how bad I was doing. In my mind, I thought I was making progress...making the right choices...doing the right things...just to realize a week ago, that wasn't the case.
My family has me in prayer...my friends offer encouragement...but there was still one person I needed to get down to the nitty gritty with as to what that persons role was in my life. We'll call that person Menti. So Menti kept telling me that they were there for me...I can count on them...they will help me no matter what. So I tell Menti, no Menti, I don't think you realize how bad it is this time. And Menti says don't worry, we'll work through this together...I'm here for you and have always been. So I say to Menti, ok...I think we really need to get together and hash this out and develop our plan. Menti says, okay...I can meet with you...in three days. Three days??? WTF! but....ok Menti....three days. Three days go by...no Menti. Fourth day goes by...no Menti. Fifth day...I say Menti...meet me for 30 minutes. Menti agrees and meets me for 30 minutes. Menti professes love...professes support...offers support and says will help today. Menti says I am priority. Menti had to leave and said would call in an hour...two hours pass...no Menti...four hours...no Menti. Get where I am going with this?? Menti was supposed to complete a task that day...task was left incomplete. Menti says...so sorry Ronny...I had this that and a bunch of bullshit to do...I didn't know you needed help today. I didn't know the word today ment tomorrow...or another day...I also didn't know the word priority meant to come first AFTER everything else. Hmmmmm confused. So if you have not figured it out yet...Menti did not TRULY want to help me. Menti is waiting for me to get help elsewhere so Menti doesn't have to do it. That's cool Menti. I figured it out. I also figured out what role you play in my life. Ya DAMN sure ain't My Love...and you're really acting like a whack friend. All you had to do is tell the truth. If you told the truth, maybe I would call you Sincero instead of Menti.
Needless to say...God brought me through...My friends and Family are wonderful..at least the majority of them..but Menti....hmmmmm learned a LOT about you...nothing I didnt already know...just another part of my life that came to reality.
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