I have no pun for my title today. Today was bitter sweet...great...but sad. My life has taken a turn in a positive direction. I can lay in my bed at night and not stress. That is something new for me...but I am blessed and really enjoying my time. My life is still tough...but in a good positive way. Why bitter sweet today? Because I was forced to realize that someone I want to be a part of my daily life...doesn't want the same thing. I've known it for a while...but today I finally accepted it. My Love. I love him. I do. But it's just not going to work. I'm not going to sit here and bash him...that doesn't make me feel better. But I will say I don't understand him. I don't understand any of it...the point...the reasoning...I guess I don't get the "why" of it all. And I probably never will. It makes me sad. I can ask him all the questions in the world...and he will have an answer for them all...but they will never make sense (at least not to me.)
I don't know how to be part-time. Either you're in or out. You're it or you're not. You want it or you don't. Go for it or go home. My dad always said...never be mediocre..if you're not going to give 100 percent then don't do it. Absence does not make my heart grow fonder...which is why I will not do long distance relationships. I go with you...or you with me...or there is no us. If I am living 10minutes from you...an only seeing you one or two times a week at most...that's long distance to me. And I don't want it. Huhhhhhhhhhhhhh....i'm rambling now and tired. Bitter sweet. I want a different ending...but to every ending there's a new beginning right? We shall see.
