I sit here and think, "Well, it could have been worse." But then think... no. That WAS the worst. The worst feeling I've ever had. You know... in hindsight, it probably could have been worse. However, I am not thinking in hindsight right now.
When I blog, what you read is how I feel at the exact moment as I type. One blog I could be up, and the next blog I could be down. Right now I'm a little bit of both and really don't know what to do with myself. It's 12:30am and here I am... at the computer.
I am the type of person that thinks of every possibility of a situation, usually worst case scenario then work my way up to best case. I do this so I am prepared. My mother on the other hand... thinks of the best case scenario and just sticks with it. If the worst case happens, her reasoning is that it was Gods reason. I admire her for that. For me? I think the worst, that way if it turns out better I can be surprised with great news, and if its the worst then I feel like I have somehow prepared myself to handle it. I don't know... sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
I feel like I have all these words stuck up in me and for some reason I just can't get them out. There's just so much inside of me that I cannot seem to get out. I was attempting to blog to see if this helped... but it's really not. So I am sorry if you feel like you have read a bunch of nothing... just know... there's a LOT... but I guess right now is not the right way/time to get it out...
I hope you are able to get some sleep... I don't think I will be and I have a 4-hour drive to make in the morning :(
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