The truth is always there, it's just a matter of deciding to look at it or to turn away. Justification is ALWAYS possible... I see it all the time. We can justify our actions with anything we want because as long as somebody believes the justification, then our actions will always be okay in someones eyes; which then makes it okay in our own eyes.
The biggest justification I see/hear is love. I did X because of love... I didn't do X because of love... I left her because I love X... I stayed with her because I love her... I ended it because I love myself... I took him back because I love him... Yes I did XYZ but it didn't mean anything because there wasn't any love there... love... love... love...
A word continuously abused. It's to the point that I don't even care if another person never says, "I love you" to me ever again.
Love is an action. And usually its those actions... or lack of those actions... that will tell if love is ever truly there or not. I can sit here all day and say, "I know he loves me" when that persons actions clearly say he doesn't.
Caring vs. Loving. Caring is not the same as loving. People with sympathy, empathy, compassion... care. It's just natural. Loving? Loving is a choice. Yes you can love everyone because God loves everyone... you can FEEL the love all around because love is around (some places).. but LOVING is an action and its an action that you CHOOSE to do for a specific person or specific people.
I am on the outside looking in... at when a person SAYS the word LOVE all the time... to several different people... but their actions say the complete opposite. My eyes have been opened... after much time of course... and after very upsetting experiences.
I loved a cheater... more than once. My actions said I loved them... my mouth said it too. But what have I learned? A cheater loves and a cheater cares. That IS possible. But they will never care or love you as much as you WANT or NEED them to. So you are always going to be left trying to justify that what love or caring you are receiving... is enough.
It sucks. And no matter what you say or do... it will never change... unless that person changes. We all know it's possible... but it's very rare in a cheaters world.
I think its sad... really sad. I don't enjoy watching others go through what I've been through... and I don't want to put myself through that again. So what am I doing? I just give it to God. I am full of love... I'm full of compassion... He's been allowing me to see the red flags and He's been giving me strength and courage to avoid them.
I don't know if there's a man for me... and I'm not worried about it anymore. At one point in time I was broken and incomplete. Today I am whole, happy and fulfilled. I feel more loved and cared about now... than I ever have before and there's no man in my life. I guess that's the way it's supposed to be huh... at least I figured it out while I consider myself young lol
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