Still Awake

So I am sitting at my computer at 1:17am on a Monday...blogging. I can't fall asleep, I finished my book, so I guess I might as well blog...right? I don't have much time though, because I just took benedryl. Apparently I am having an allergic reaction to something and my eyes are swollen and I have a rash down my neck and both of my arms.

So most people would take some benedryl and go to bed right? Not me. I just took another shower, made sure my hair doesn't have the bedhead look anymore, made sure nothing crazy was laying around my house...just in case I have to call 911. And then I start thinking...what if my eyes swell so tight that I can't see my phone to dial?? I have a new phone now...a TOUCH phone that doesn't have any buttons! So next month I think I will be investing in a house phone. What if something happens to me and my kids have to dial 911? They don't know how to work my phone...at least I THINK they don't know how. Things we take for granted...a basic house phone. And it doesn't help that I work for the fire dept. Most of our EMS calls happen in someones house...well we have to enter that house, look for clues if the person isn't responsive and also check for smoke detectors or fire hazards. So if 911 has to send somebody to my house, I want to make sure its presentable and not something that will become "station talk" lol. Then I also have in the back of my mind the sayings of my mother, "Make sure you always have on a clean, good pair of underwear because you never know if you'll have to go to hospital." Then I think of Jitney and his draws... lol he would know what I am talking about. And then I wonder... will they know WHO to call??? Are they going to call the last person I talked to on my phone? My neighbors suck in this neighborhood... so they're not going to know anything.

Jitney was supposed to be coming over... but out of nowhere I fell asleep and passed out for 4 or 5 hours. Missed the phone calls and texts. Then I wonder... damn... what if something WAS wrong?! How long would it have been before someone came to look for me?? I don't work until weds so they wouldn't notice until 7am weds morning. Then again... Tiffany would have called 911 by then... or at least called someone to see if I was alive. But she's in NJ... how long would she have waited? And then I think... DAMN i seriously need a man in my home! When my kids are with their dad... it's just me, myself and I. But then it all comes down to... "Ronny, shut up. God's got it. Take your ass to bed." And with that, I am able to rest my mind, relax, and go to sleep. He's got it! If it's my time to go, then nobody and nothing can save me, because obviously God thought I was needed more up there than down here. With that, I think my dryl is kicking in...Goodnight!