Get your mind out the gutter. That's NOT what I am talking about in regards to getting off. I am in a venting mood. Therefore I shall vent. When I started blogging, I advised readers to have an open mind and to not take anything personally, unless it was specifically directed at you. So I will start off by saying... this is for YOU and YOU know who YOU are. Now don't get me wrong... nothing I am about to say is anything I haven't already said to this person, and if for some reason I missed something when I WAS in front of this person, then I would gladly repeat it to their face. So why I am I blogging about it? Because I can! Maybe if I share what I am going through, some other reader will say, "You know what Ronny... I am dealing with the SAME shit! Glad to know I am not alone." That's my purpose of this blog, or actually ANY blog I do. So somebody out there can either relate, or if anything, walk away after having a good laugh and think to themselves, "Damn, maybe my life isn't so bad after all." If somebody has something negative to say about what I say, or do, or how I live... so be it. 'Cause you should already know I really don't give a fuck about what anybody thinks... did u know that?? Just making sure. If you choose to proceed, just know I speak with blogger terms (AKA.. terms I've made up throughout several of my blogs). If you can't hang, I am sorry. Maybe you should catch up and start reading my blogs from the beginning. Otherwise... good luck trying to figure it out.
So the last I spoke about my love life, I believe I was telling you how God sent me a BMW. Well, the BMW turned out to be whack and I had to turn it down. I know what you're thinking... how the HELL can a BMW be whack???? SHiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.... I was thinking the SAME THING. smh. So anyway, I turned down the BMW and got right back on the jitney. Stupid mistake... because as I explained before, nobody rides a jitney for long, before you get dropped off and the jitney picks up another passenger. Long story semi-short, jitney dropped me off and I said, "Bye Jitney. I am moving. And where I am moving to... I will never have to ride a jitney again." I guess Jitney thought I was playing, and decided to play a few games too. Jitney would honk a few times, but never stopped to say hello or offer to pick me up. Days go by... weeks go by... still I am walking and avoiding the jitney. Well I guess the Jitney realized it as being avoided and proceeded to not only honk, but to flash its high beams and rev the engine... in hopes I would take another ride. Well I haven't... and don't plan to. That ride is OVA.. did ya hear me??? OVA OVA OVA.
I am a person that will try and try and try and try and try to make something work. If I happen to fall in love... although Lord knows that's RARE, I will do any and everything to try and make it work. Why? Because I need to know (for myself) that I did EVERYTHING possible on MY end, before I walk away. I don't want to walk away from somebody I truly care about, thinking, "Well maybe if I did X Y Z it would have worked." Another reason why it takes me so long to walk away, which is probably the case with MOST people is... that shit got COMFORTABLE! So maybe it wasn't the BEST relationship, but it also wasn't the WORST. I knew a long ass time ago that I wouldn't be on that jitney forever, but for some reason I kept taking the ride. It was a comfortable ride. I could probably stand at the stop right now, and get back on the jitney... but I won't.
The funny thing about this whole jitney story is... the jitney keeps expressing how bad it wants me to take the ride again... but... won't drive around the neighborhood. That makes no sense! How you gonna say you want somebody to take a ride with you, but be no where to be found? BULLSHIT I say. You just want me to WANT THE RIDE, but you have no intentions of taking me to my final destination. So, you can just keep riding around, Jitney. I don't know who you have given rides to since I've stopped, and I truly don't care. I am walking. Yup... WALKING. It might take me longer to get where I am going, but at least I know I won't be driven around in a circle for short, sporadic moments in time.
There is SOMEBODY out there that will walk right next to me, and we will get something far better than a BMW to take us to our final destination TOGETHER.
If I lost you... I warned you. Can't help you either. My brain is not explainable... hence why I blog.
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