Be Still

Be still and know that I am God. ~Psalm 46:10~

I think I wrote a blog mentioning me watching the Karate Kid (w/jaden smith) every day cause I don't have cable in my room. Well anyway, in the movie, the teacher says something like "there's a big difference between being still...and doing nothing."

Right now, I feel like I should be doing something...but God is telling me to just be still and know. My heart is hurting today. It's like this aching sadness in my soul...but yet my spirit is trying to comfort me. I always have something to say...but this time I don't know what to say. I can't explain. No words will ever come out and make sense of it. I listen to Him. I pray. I cry. I pray. I smile and try to make sense of it all and keep moving. I want to fight. I want to yell. I want to scream. And at the same time...I want to be silent. To meditate. To be still. I just want to be hugged. I want an answer. A reason. I want it to make sense. I have several theories in my head to give some sense to what happened and why. Is it to make sense...or am I just rationalizing...or is that the same thing. To rationalize is to give sense? But sometimes, you just can't make sense...and you just have to know that He is God.

Another night goes by as I fall into myself. Withdraw into myself...to be still. I pray...I cry. I listen. He hears me. He understands. He knows I am hurting. I know He knows...therefore I will be still...and know.