Misunderstood

I feel like the teenager that tells their parents, "You just don't understand."

You don't understand. He doesn't understand. They don't understand. Nobody understands...me. Is that true? Well it really doesn't matter if it's fact or not...I still feel like that anyway...at this very moment.

I think I've explained before that I have a gift of writing...expressing thoughts through written word. Unfortunately my mouth and my mind get me in trouble. When I try to explain how I feel or what I am thinking it comes out awful. To try and ease my mind, I try to dig into other peoples minds. What I have learned from that...not everybody likes to dig into their own mind. They would rather just leave it alone.

I am an observer. I watch and listen to everything. You're every move...I'm watching. Your every word...I'm listening to. Sounds creepy I'm sure. But that's just how I learn...watching and observing before I actually participate. In most cases, it helps me out. At work, in school and with my kids it's very helpful. My kids love when i watch and listen to them...work it helps because it gives me an edge for advancement (they think i'm not paying attention and don't realize how much I know until we're tested or evaluated), and in school you can never fail by listening and observing; school IS learning.

Observing backfires when it comes to men. When you observe a man very closely you're going to learn all the wonderful things about him and all the negative things about him. Who really wants the bad stuff to be exposed? As humans, we can tend to run from ourselves. That's My Love's favorite line, "Im human Ronny." No shit shurlock. Men hate when you know something about them that they don't want to recognize in themselves.

Women on the other hand LOVE to be learned. There is no better feeling in the world than to know your man really knows you, understands you and accepts you for who you are. Now THAT's love...right?

My man says my mind will push niggas away. I believe that because it's pushing him away. Am I going to change who I am? Nope. I love myself the way I am...somebody out there will too. The way I see it, my mind will push the WRONG niggas away from me. I guess my man wants me to love him, but not really know him. Sorry My Love, that's just impossible. I know who you are already...and I make the choice to love you anyway. Unfortunately, that same respect is not being given in return. He says he loves me. How can you love someone but hate who they are? He just misunderstands me and unfortunately I can't make him pay attention and learn me. It has to be something he wants on his own. I guess he doesn't want it...me. Now that's upsetting... :(